Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason

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How will my kid know what’s right and wrong and how to make good decisions if I support him or her unconditionally?

What Is Unconditional Parenting? - Think Positive Check

Those seeking alternative methods of raising confident, well-loved children, however, will warmly embrace Kohn’s message. But I disagree with his assertion that allowing a child to feel the natural consequences of his misbehavior is the same thing as punishing the child. The basic premise of his philosophy is that running around applauding our children for every little thing they do teaches them not only to expect praise for everything, but also that if we aren't praising them immediately, they must be doing something wrong. I don't listen to explanations when they are really just justifications (see Dan Ariely's work about the false attributions people consistently give for their own motivations/behaviors in my behavioral economics reading list. Also this book was very well organized and one that would be easy to skip through and find the information you are interested in.

If a child sees everyone else as perfect but knows that they are not, what will the repercussions be to their self-confidence, self-love, self-worth and the way they view the world. I have learned that positive thinking can lead to happiness and success in life, relationships and work.

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn | Waterstones

In a new book, Adam Grant argues that anyone can improve if they focus on the right skills and have the right kinds of support.He seems to think that all parents are power-hungry tyrants who will sacrifice a relationship at the cost of being right or in control. On the flip side, I've never liked rewards and punishment methods of parenting/teaching because I want my children to want to be good for being-good sake, and not because they want a sticker or don't want to have to flip their card to *gasp* red. It really helps to refesh and remind yourself of the things in the book, especially the last few chapters. You can keep telling yourself (and them) that you love them and you’re doing it for their better interests but actions speak louder than words and it’s up to the person to decide who they trust, respect and believe! How we feel about our kids isn't as important as how they experience those feelings and how they regard the way we treat them.