Watching my Hot Wife - Shared With my Boss

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We are seeing a counselor and I really like him ( counselor), it is helping us both, but sometimes it hits me, ” I can end this when ever I want”. I find this new found thought to be very liberating, so even though he had the affair, I hold the key to my own freedom and independence if I so choose. The other mans wife also needs to be told immediately as does HR. Their families also need to be told including children.

So, after over a year of this you tell her she needs to find a new job. Her reaction is to tell you she "applied to a couple of jobs" with you having no way of verifying that. All while she still goes to her old job? I have been married for 22 years now and our marriage life was ok until last year when I discovered that my wife was having an affair with her boss (hospital administrator). My wife was free to do whatever she wanted at work and I was not bothered because I had trust in her. one day I escorted my wife to a hair saloon. Upon reached area, she left her phone in the vehicle. she forgot to close the message she reading. I wanted to close the phone, but only to find a message stating “I could not sleep because of yesterday’s kiss”. Then I left the phone and did not say anything because I wanted to know who the writer of the message. To my surprise after going through the message I found out that it was her boss. After three days I confronted her and she became defensive and said that those messages were meant for a her friend. Surprisingly, that friend of hers is also married and said that she fears that her husband might see those messages.So we saw a councillor today…and it’s not what I expected. I just wanted her to help us communicate. I want to be able to tell him how unsatisfied I was with the affair…how bad the sex was and that I didn’t love the other guy at all ( it wasn’t about sex…or even bonding with the guy emotionally, as I didn’t…it was about me) . But it wasn’t like that. We have a very passionate affair and get together whenever we can. There are cameras all over the place at work, but we have fun dodging them for the odd encounter when no one’s around. The sex between us is exciting, even when we can only manage a few snatched moments together. My husband has two colleagues at work with whom he has good friendships. One in particular, “Jenny” however, makes me extremely uncomfortable. He works in in a university setting, and the work environment there is very tense and draining. The three of them have a camaraderie, which in itself, is good to have that kind of support in a toxic workplace. However, when he comes home from work, the chats are non stop in Facebook messenger. He is involved with a group chat (with two of them,) and Jenny messages him 1:1 regularly outside of work hours as late as 11:00 or midnight. She is married with two kids; my husband and I have a 21-month old daughter who consumes a lot of our after-work time until she goes to bed. But even after going to sleep at 7:30, he is often messaging with either the two of them or just Jenny. During their summer and winter breaks, he talks to Jenny a LOT. Most of it is work-related, but occasionally they will discuss personal things. She has told him that she felt lonely in her marriage before, (I was using his iPad once, which we sometimes share, and her message popped up.) I don’t know how he responded. I don’t feel that it was appropriate for her to tell him this, even if it was a one-time thing. They have never done anything physical, I am sure of it, but the emotional bond they have is troubling to me. They message each other (he is also a culprit in this) as early as 7:00 a.m., are together at work M-F 9-5, and message all evening. Probably at least 20-30 exchanges in the evening alone. I have talked to him about this. He still is able to read the messages he gets, but he told me he will not respond to them outside of work hours, meaning nights and weekends. Additionally, during summer breaks while I’m at work, he has met up with her and her kids (bringing our daughter with) to go to the beach, they have gone to a Beyonce concert together, went to a cooking class, he invited her on what was supposed to be a date night to a sporting event (a sport she knows and cares nothing about but showed up anyway with her husband and kids.) They spent the whole time talking. My issue is I do not think she is been honest about the sex as they did not even use protection so I think it was alot more intense than she made out. And I think something physical happened with my cousin as when I raise she gets very defensive and when I talk to him just about the pics all he ever says is it was never physical I never touched her all the time. Ali, It would be very hard to trust someone who blames you for his affair. Affairs are never the “fault” of the person who is betrayed. I understand your desire to stay for the kids. Some of my clients stay for that reason. Others want their kids to see a nurturing and loving relationship and choose to leave in hopes of finding a healthier relationship. What hurts kids the most if you stay is chronic arguing and conflict. Staying or going is one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever make. You could always go to a relationship counselor to at least discuss your options. Take care, Lori

Slowly, we are making progress and becoming closer again, but she maintains that she is uncomfortable around me and feels bad about herself… and that she doesn’t have “romantic feelings” for me and doesn’t feel that she ever will again. Yet she doesn’t want a divorce, and she wants to keep working to make progress. I believe that working on reestablishing our friendship and negotiating new dynamics in our household are positive steps we are taking that help to create emotional safety and intimacy between us… and might eventually lead to us having affection and romance return to the relationship (I really hope). I told her to get out that night and she left for her friends. I was still trying to process everything. How could she do this to me? How can you do this to anyone? We’ve had 9 beautiful years without any troubles and you do this? I’m at home minding your daughter while you progress your career and you just shit on me? I was struggling big time.How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous! Another possible thing that may lead to a wife cheating is a husband that when him and his wife are out with friends, the husband openly mentions things like how good his wife is at sex, or how incredible she looks nude, that sort of stuff not only can get the wife thinking of other men, it can also get male friends of theirs, when hearing these things, at some point starting to flirt with the wife often, letting her know what he would like with her, and possibly making her think of that more and more!

So on Oct 17th 2017 I discovered that my wife had been having a 6 month long affair with her boss. On the 17th I thought it was just an emotional affair but on the night of Oct 20th we got into a huge argument and she didn't come home that night. This was the first time anything like that had ever happened. She lied to me and tole me that she just needed to get away and that she slept in her car in a park all night. On Oct 24th she confessed that she had gone to her bosses house and that they slept together.Now, i never saw no r heard from my fiance after that, i heard years later that she had been through a lot of men and had 4 kids and was living alone with the kids! He tried to come up with all the potential ways to get out of eating the steak, but the shear excitement he already displayed when the steak came out cut his excuses down. There are so many vegans now-a-days but he couldn’t claim that. Research indicates that, while its certainly possible to maintain fidelity in our relationships, humans are not “naturally” prone to monogamy. Even in an age where divorce is accepted and available , many spouses still stray. The reasons for this phenomena vary but often even content/happy couples still cheat once the relationship has lost its shine. The elation and joy of that “new” relationship that provided the thrill and challenge of attracting and discovering someone new becomes replaced with a more realistic and sober existence in a marital relationship. That’s normal. But so is the boredom couples experience once the honeymoon stage is over. Many husbands feel surprised and rejected once their wives (now burdened down with work, kids, and life stresses) no longer desire to satisfy their sexual needs like before. After all, there’s now a long list of things competing for their attention, and all too often their husband’s sexual needs may fall far down that list. Likewise, husbands, stressed over unrealized life/success goals and the economic pressures of seeing themselves as the “provider” subconsciously substitute their financial contributions to the family for the romantic overtures and attention they once lavished on their wives. While its easy to say things like “we just kinda let things get away over time”, or “we got into a rut”, or “we were young when we married and then we both changed”, its fair to say that as far as the relationship went, many of us just got blithering bored, not necessarily with our spouses but with what we had morphed into over time. I am 80% sureshort that she is having a affaire with her callegue. Her behaving n changes shoes that she has an affaire with him.