Building a Life Worth Living: A Memoir

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The first time you practice contemplation, you’ll only experience a darkness, like a cloud of unknowing,” writes the anonymous author of the book by that name, The Cloud of Unknowing” That’s the part of my little equation where building a life worth living comes into play. The realization that I never wanted to die and that I actually wanted to get better was incredible . And that was my biggest reason for recovering: wanting to . The unison of wanting to be alive – a lesson I am eternally grateful for having learned from an amazing mentor of mine – and building a life worth living (credits to the so admirable Dr. Linehan!). This connection made a light bulb go off in my head. A light that guided me towards recovery. It is a behavior therapy, not a psychiatric or psychodynamic treatment, which has a unique, human touch. i128907356 |b1060006331789 |deve |g- |m |h1 |x0 |t0 |i3 |j70 |k200122 |n12-04-2020 18:16 |o- |a618.92 |rLIN

Do those ideas of happiness that someone else projected onto you actually make you feel fulfilled? Does the college degree you earned feel authentically valuable to you? What about the work you do or the company you keep? Your car, your house? aLinehan, Marsha |0https://id.loc.gov/authorities/names/n84105596 |xMental health. |0https://id.loc.gov/authorities/subjects/sh00006455 reveals her own fight.” 1 Interestingly, the story was made public before an audience of friends, family, and The thoughts, behaviors, and feelings that are most interfering with creating the life you want will get top priority. This will help reduce overwhelm and assure you that you’re moving towards making your dreams a reality. So, the first step in DBT is to dreamI have done many hard things in my life, most prominent of which was having to come to terms with a totally unexpected complete and devastating breakdown of me, of who I was in the world, which you will get a glimpse of shortly. As a result of that episode, I had to fight to rebuild my high school education, which required me to go to night school while doing a day job to support myself. It was a day-­job-­and-­night-­school life again for me as I then strove to be a university undergraduate. By this time I had spent a lot of time living in small rooms in YWCAs in different cities. Most of the time I was friendless. And at almost every step of the way, I faced rejection after rejection that might easily have derailed me on my journey. Later, in my professional life, I had to battle to have my radical ideas and approach to therapy accepted by my peers and by the world of psychiatry more generally, and struggle as a female in male-­dominated academia.

DEAR MAN stands for “describe, express, assert, reinforce, (stay) mindful, appear confident, negotiate.” I don’t know of any other treatment that is so aligned with the person who developed it as DBT is with me. Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment I know this is the only moment. As interesting as I found this book I did not find it well written. I found that much of it was repetitive and her constant pushing of DBT principles distances the reader of who she is as a person rather than her roles as researcher, therapist or Zen master. I also found (quite) surprising the high number of psychological blind spots that she still carries. There is also lots of humblebragging and false modesty here. I also found that she censored a great deal with regards to emotions experienced and relationship issues (were not explored to any great depth.) The book appears hurried and only partially revealing and truthful. Here at THIRA Health, no one goes alone into this struggle. We want to help you develop the tools that enable you to feel capable of embracing your truth right into a life well-lived. Be prepared for accountability (and the way it feels)

Wanting to be alive

This phrase is used because some people come to DBT at the end of their rope, struggling with thoughts of ending it all. What was most frustrating was that it seemed like all of her greatest turning points or breakthroughs in her life were some sort of random mystical or religious experience that had nothing to do with therapy. For example, she suddenly one day just decided to make a vow to God to help others out of hell, and that was what made her snap out of her suicidality. Or one day she just randomly shouted to herself that she loved herself for no reason. She would describe them without anything leading up to these events and no explanation as to why they happened. As someone living with BPD, these experiences are highly unrelatable and also make me wonder whether recovery simply comes down to random mystical experiences. Yet for others, dreaming of a different life is harder (but can be done with the help of your DBT therapist).